Promised Land

There was a show on when I was growing up called Promised Land.  The family lived in an RV and traveled all over the country helping others.  I loved it and my family wanted to become them.  When we found out about Tim's job, I suggested we sell the house and buy a camper.  I mean why not?  I think Tim liked the idea for about 5 minutes.  One thing I am realizing is life is short, place your regrets aside and move on.  I am also learning that nothing is ever easy, and our longing for peace will only be fulfilled in Heaven. 

I can only say this life has revealed to me that it is not going to pull me down!  I am determined to relish every moment I can with my kids, husband, parents, and friends.  To make memories every day.  To smile at the smallest things, because they are what is important.  In a moment all can change, but in the end this is not our home!

Today was Tim's last day.  And I had to tackle 2 doc appointments with 3 kids.  So the day did not look very bright.  The good news- Tim has 5 more weeks worth of work.  So thankfully we have a job for awhile and health insurance.  Can I say how thankful I am for my husband!  He is a rock that holds this family together.  I am proud of his courage and the way he is the best dad and husband he can be.   I know this is hard for him, but he is staying strong.  And I love that about him!

We did get other good news.  Brooke's visit with the Orthopedic Surgeon went well.  He told us she does not actually have Scoliosis.  She does have a slight curve in spine, but it is nothing to worry about.  He said her hips are off and that is because her one leg is slightly longer than the other.  He told us this happens in 5% of the population.  He told us the curve is either the result of Chiari, Tethered Cord, or the legs.  He is not overly concerned, but wants to monitor her.  So we will see him in a year!  Hooray!

Before we saw the Ortho, we had been to the Gastro Doc.  It did not go so well.  He was a great doc, and was very impressed.  But after conversation, he diagnosed her with a neurogenic bowel.  So now we can add that with the neurogenic bladder.  Because I want to protect Brooke's privacy I will only speak of some things online.  I do not mind discussing this with people, just not here.  He did tell me he sees this in patients with Spina Bifida.  There are those words again!  I do believe this Spina Bifida Occult plays a bigger role than some docs may think.  He agreed with me.  He was also very surprised to hear her Dural Sac was located at the L4 vertebra.  He feels there is a correlation between all this.  What it all boils down to is Brooke will probably need another surgery to help her.  Ugh.  My poor brave girl....how do I even begin to wrap my mind around this.  It will probably not be for a few years, but still.  And then it will be a lifelong condition.  How many life long conditions can a little body handle before the smiles start to fade? 

I am so proud of my girl.  I do not want this condition or any others to make her feel defeated.  I want her to know that the strength is within her.  The will to smile through the tears is something she can do.  I pray that she gets down on those knees, and cries for help when she just does not understand why she is where she is.  And I pray that God hears her prayer and lifts her up.  I can only be a support, but I know He can be her strength.  I think many of us think that the Promised Land is somewhere we can find on Earth.  But the reality is...it is not.  This song has been playing on the radio, and my crazy friend(you know who you are) at work has been playing it nonstop! :) I heard it again today.  The same words always stick out to me...This is not our home!  Thank God!