Ok I am still just sitting staring at the keyboard. No words. Basically it is her behavior. She throws these awful fits. In fact, a couple have been so bad they leave me in tears. She hits, kicks and screams with all the power she can come up with. The fits really have nothing to do with anything. She is not angry about anything. And after she throws the fit she returns to normal activity. When I try to talk to her about it, she says, "Mommy I was not screamin." What!? Brooke also just says these random off the wall things. They really make no sense and she says them at odd times.
So most of you are probably thinking, "Well duh Melinda, she did just have brain surgery." And I know this. That is probably why I have not written any of this down. It is very hard to explain. But if you go through one of the fits with her, it would be clearer. I really feel like my daughter is completely not in my control.
All of this has really clarified for me that Chiari is a life long battle. There is no quick fix for most. We need more research, more doctors to learn about it. I as a mom need to educate myself more. I need to find ways to help my lady cope with her pain and help her learn healthy ways to express she hurts. I need to just be there for her on the bad days. And just as important on the good days. My one friend who has Chiari always tells me each day is different, each day is new.
So if you see us out, and Brooke refuses to talk. Or she shrugs your hello off, please do not take it personal. It is probably not a good day. If she jumps up and down and talks your ear off, her day is shining bright! As for me, I am gonna pull myself up by the boot straps and move forward. No time for wallowing here! Got some cute kids and a hubby to take care of!
I encourage you to stay positive and remember that God is in control, not you or Brooke! That doesn't mean you can't feel sad and depressed once in a while -- just don't stay there for long -- look at those cute kids and hubby and thank God for it all! I'll keep praying for the healing of Brooke and your coping skills through it all! Just know that you are all loved!
ReplyDeleteTerrie
Melinda,
ReplyDeleteIm very sorry to hear you are having a rough time!! I was hoping when you got home you'd at least have a few weeks of peace. Please remember it's OK be be sad, to be stressed, to be overwhelmed. Also, remember above all else, she is still a kid. My kids do all of the mentioned above at any given time for no known reason as well. Some of her frustration & temper tantrums may just be age related. My Taylor will ignore people for no reason at all & it discourages me so much. But it is an age thing. The next time you see her she may talk your ear off. They're little minds are elsewhere. You & I both know Brooke & Tayor are wonderful, polite, little ladies. But even little ladies have bad days. Try not to panic that it is a side effect of the Chiari, this may pass as things change in her life. And if it doesn't you will handle it well, you are a wonderful mother & with the help of God you will make it through anything. Sending my love to you!!!
OH Melinda...I pray for you often! I think it is hard as a parent when our children act a way they are "not supposed to" because we take their behaviors as reflections of ourselves. And we mommies are very hard on ourselves! Take a deep breath. And my advice for phone calls can apply here as well - it's OK to lock yourself in the bathroom sometimes. :) Take chocolate. Don't share. :)
ReplyDeleteSee you soon!
Thank you ladies! Hearing friends words always helps. I know some is just her age, but some is really not. It is just so hard to even write about. Even my mom said you would not believe it unless you see it. But I know she is going through so much, and just needs some time.
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