The other day I was driving with the kids. A song was playing on the radio and the it said "Impossible is not a word." Aidan chimes in, "Wow mom, you were right impossible is not a word!" I chuckled, and then started to cry. The past few weeks I have not been taking my own advice. I felt like the impossible is staring me in the face. A friend of mine told me the other day it is helpful to share what is going on. This way others can pray. I shared a few things in the last post, but it is hard for me to share some things. I guess it boils down to pride. Yes I know this is not a good thing. I think it is also hard to be so public with your life.
Brooke has been one of the key focuses of our family this past year. She has needed our time, love, and many of our resources. Our bills have piled up. Many of them seeming to swallow our paychecks up. Our mortgage, electric, gas, car payments, have all taken hits. We are working hard to catch everything up. I spend so many hours on the phone with one collector after another, pleading for a little more time. Thankfully so many amazing people have stepped up in the past few days, and the dark tunnel does not seem quite so long!
Many of you know I am guardian for Tim's aunt who is developmentally handicapped. She stays with us once a month. But a few weeks ago she had something happen so that she can no longer go to her day service. We have her coming to our house a few times per week, until we can find a good place for her. We love having her here but with home schooling and work it is hard. But this morning, Brooke looks at her and says, "I love you. You are in my heart everyday!"
Tim's grandparents health has not been good over the past few months. We have thought several times it was the end. I have been struggling with how to tell Tim's aunt about her mom. It makes my heart sad to share this with her. The other day I went to the hospital and spent time with Granny, and left with a heavy heart. It is never easy to say good bye. Thankfully she is still fighting. Aidan and Tim were able to go and spend time with her yesterday. She told me on the phone how wonderful it was to talk with Aidan and Tim. I asked Aidan if it was a nice visit. He said, "Well I do not know if it was nice, it was hard. But it was good to see her, and I love her so much."
Several months ago we started this new food plan in our house. It really boils down to preparing everything from scratch. It is very labor intensive. And you might ask, "Why???" Well the answer is simple. I need more craziness! No really it was to try and get our family healthy. Aidan has suffered from asthma for as long as I can remember. His neubulizer is his best friend Fall, Winter and Spring. He also has terrible migraines. Tim has been sick for several years. Out of the blue he will become violently ill. We have seen numerous docs. All say food related but not sure why or what foods. So I decided to give this a try since friends have had good results with it. It has been hard but amazing. Over this past Fall and Winter, Aidan has used his neubulizer 5 times and had only a few migraines. Tim has felt much better and says he notices when he does not eat the right foods. The more amazing thing, we have purchased no antibiotics this winter!
We have struggled before with finding answers at the uroligist. Somtiems I think I go into the appointments with my own agenda. I know what I want the doc to say, because I want Brooke to feel better. When they say they want to wait, I get frustrated. More time means more time she feels bad. But I am learning that God will handle this in his time. I do need to seek out good docs, but then I need to let them do their job. I need to listen. I did this at the urologist with Brooke yesterday. I did not hear what I wanted to hear, but I feel like we communicated well and came up with a feasible plan. Tough decisions ahead, but not impossible.
I am so thankful for the moments that remind me that nothing is impossible. God has placed so many amazing people in my life. They have given support and love in many ways. I am thrilled for this life I have been given. It grows me each day. Each day is another day to love on these little angels in my life. Another day to live life with my amazing husband. And another day to see the impossible become possible!