One week away!!! Hopefully next week at this time I will be in a hospital bed healing from surgery. I have to say the anticipation is killing me!!!! I just want it to be done! I want to know if it is going to help. Will I be able to get rid of these sickening headaches that make it almost impossible to function? Will my neck and the back of my head finally be able to support the rest of my head? Will the rest of my symptoms settle down, or will the spiral out of control? Honestly I just want to know. I want to know the hand I have been dealt. This past week has been a mix of the good and the bad. I have had moments where I felt great! I zipped through organizing closets and teaching kiddos. I made pillows and a hide out for the boys room, and started working to re-decorate Brooke's room(she wants to decorate with ladybugs!). Then I have crashed! Surviving days on only 2 and 3 hours of sleep because the nights are so painful, and days not much better. Today being one of those days!
I was up until 5:30 AM and then slept until 8. Barely able to move I got ready for the day. It is amazing to me on days like this how hard it is to even comb my hair. Just standing in front of the mirror takes concentration as my legs feel as if they will buckle and my wrists hurt so bad even a comb is to heavy. Yet somehow I manage to make it... only by His grace. Aidan had an OT evaluation today. I did not want to cancel since we have been on a waiting list since June. I begged the kids to be super good for mama because I seriously felt like I would throw up at any moment. I held my head while the OT talked to me. Just wishing I was in bed. She took Aidan out of the room for a few minutes to do a test. My phone rang and it was my mom! She was in Belden and wanted to know if she could help me. Praise God!! She came over and helped me get the kids together to leave. Then she offered to take them to her house!! I am so blessed to have her for my mom!
I got home, and rested for a couple hours before my meeting with a lady who is going to help me try and save our house. A sweet friend told me about this lady and the Restoring the Dream program. We had thought about applying for it a while ago, but the bank urged us to work with them. So we did. Unfortunately that did not end up working, so here we are back to this program. I gathered all the paperwork I needed and went to appointment. She was wonderful and is pretty confident that we will qualify. Of course there are no guarantees, but there is Hope. She feels we are in good shape for qualifying since we had both unemployment and medical debt setting us back. She was worried we would not qualify for the medical part because you have to be in debt at least 10% of your income. All I had to do was show her one bill from Brooke's surgery and we were taken way over the 10%. So that bill not only saved our daughter but possibly our house too! Still do not like seeing that large sum next to the word owe!
As I count down the days, I am relishing in every moment with my kiddos, hanging out with friends, and trying to play normal for the week. Still in awe of how He works through others to bring us hope, comfort, and a better understanding of who He is!