When we were first looking to buy a house one of my main wish list items was 2 bathrooms. It was ok if one was full and the other was half. We just really felt with a growing family we needed 2 bathrooms. And I have to tell you over the years of being here we wish for that 2nd bathroom often! But of course that has never been a high priority item to add. So we deal, and I mutter (sometimes) until now! For the past few months I have had some amazing ladies come and clean our bathroom. It has helped me so much because the up and down motion of cleaning makes me very ill. I have wiped up the bathroom and cleaned different parts of it, but not scrubbed the floor. I let them do this. I was feeling really bad about this...I mean I should be able to scrub my own bathroom floor by now! So on Saturday I did. It was not a pretty site. I managed to get it all scrubbed (which our bath is pretty tiny so that is not saying much). I felt this horrible whish in my head and blackness. I knew I was going to faint. I laid down right there on my clean bathroom floor. The smell of vinegar making me even more ill. As I lay there I prayed, "Thank you Lord for one bathroom!"
I have to be honest over the past few years we have thanked God for some pretty odd things. We have also learned to be grateful where we are, and the little moments. Oh I know I still grumble when I shouldn't, but the grumble quickly fades as I see little beauties all around me. Where I still struggle a bit on my walk is with trust. I still have this burning desire to control everything in my life. It is hard for me to release my firm grip on this area of life. I want to know tomorrow I can pay that pesky bill, I can buy diaps and groceries, we can put gas in the tank, and I will not have to cancel another doc appointment for lack of funds. I want to be able to wake up with no horrible pain coursing through my body. And my kids to wake up feeling good and healthy. I want to know my hubby is secure in his job, and that today will not be the day the wall in the basement comes crumbling in. But nothing is an assurance. And just like yesterday and today, tomorrow will come and I will face it. And once again God will remind me He has it covered. I just need to sit back and learn to love the moments.
A few prayer request....I have been spiraling a bit with pain. My neck and head give me fits most days of the week. And my poor joints feel as if they are on fire. I am so hoping to get some answers when we head to New York in June. Poor Aidan is plagued by headaches daily. He is also having trouble with his hip and shoulder popping out of joint. For a 9 year old boy, he has the aches and pains of an 80 year old. Please pray that he has some relief, and I remain patient as he works through how to deal. Our sweet bug is horrible again. We are not sure what is going on but her headaches are back with a vengeance She cries almost every night. She is also spiking fevers lately. Probably just viral but still make me nervous. Sadly our little Chan is complaining of headaches. I would think it was because he heard everyone around him complain but he cries and normally just needs to be held until he falls asleep. So I know something is going on. My heart breaks and I do not even know how to handle the possibility of a 3rd child with Chiari or EDS. And if you could pray for my wonderful hubby! This amazing man carries the weight of supporting not a normal fam, but a very sick fam on his shoulders. He never complains, but I see sadness sometimes in his eyes. I want to help...fix it but most days my strength is reserved for the basics of life. I know God chose him for us perfectly. Not to many guys could handle the heart ache he endures daily seeing his family suffer.
People praying is what makes my heart happy! When people tell me they pray for us, it reminds me we are not alone and I do have the strength to keep fighting this fight! So thank you!