We have had some scary times lately. In fact, many days I am more scared then I have ever been. We had a mix up with unemployment back in the summer. They over paid us, and with the move, new job, and lack of funds we did not realize. Once they told us, we agreed to pay back. We were making monthly payments. Then when we needed it again, they just kept the unemployment for a few weeks until completely paid off. About 2 weeks ago, they informed us we would not be getting unemployment for 7 more weeks because they were penalizing us! What!? I mean yes there was a mistake, but really??? So since the end of December we have had no income. We have about 3 more weeks until it kicks in. This is scary! Thankfully most places have been willing to wait for payment, but they still want to be paid of course. The good news....Tim has a job! We have been waiting on details, and they came today! He will start on the 20th working for a company contracted by GM. It should be a stable position, and we are so very thankful!!!
This is a long confusing road! Through it all one thing has remained, He is Faithful! God pulls us up every time. He sends someone along who can provide exactly what is needed. Last Sunday I sat at my kitchen table talking with a girlfriend who I do not see often, and yet it felt like I had just seen her. It reminded me how wonderful community is. How it makes you feel to be surrounded by people who not only love you, but will lift you up in any situation. They will not judge, they will not tell you what you are doing is wrong or a better way of living, they just love you! I have felt this so much lately, and it makes the scariest moments a little less scary.
The other day we had the chance to spread a little joy and forget about the scary for awhile! When we were at the American Girl Doll store Brooke decided she wanted to get a doll for her dear friend Danica. She decided that Danica needed a Brave Emily like her. She was so excited to give this gift to her friend. Monica, Danica's mom, wrote such a beautiful post about it. Her words were so special, I wanted to share them here. The day we visited was supposed to be a day of taking joy to them, but like always...they spread joy right back to us! Their love and understanding make our friendship so very special. Monica and I can sit and listen to one another, and completely understand. Her friendship is more valuable than any gift that she would ever give, and yet we continue to try and lift one another up as best we can. Yesterday, in the midst of the MRI appointment, I get a message from her. The message...she has ordered a stove for our family! This beautiful gift that she arranged and her parents made possible, arrived today! Blessed beyond words!
I know so many of you prayed for Brooke and the MRI. I have to say it went fairly smooth. They were running late, so that was tough because Brooke had not eaten. But once we were in the room and she could watch toonies, she was fine. Then they came in to talk about the procedure. She was not happy she needed to use a smoke mask(aka sleeping mask). But agreed on strawberry smoke. :) Once she was in the MRI room though she lost it. Kicking and screaming I struggled to hold on to her. I looked at the anesthesiologist and said "We need to hold her down and get this done." Everyone was trying to reason with her, and the anesthesiologist said "Oh I hate to have to do it this way." Ummm me too! But it has to get done, so let's get it done! After holding her down, she fell asleep pretty quickly. The test went smooth, and when she woke up, she was her pleasant self again. She was so excited to leave, she asked if she could help take out her IV. She pulled all the tape off herself, and the IV! Tough chica! She told the nurse she did not want a band aid either. I have to say I was exhausted!
I am not sure how the next month or so will play out. There are many more uphills before we hopefully get to some down hills. But I am going to trust and hang on, He is my rock. Too many times I hear myself question why me? Then I quickly respond to myself...why not you? There is no reason why I should have a soft cushy life. There is no reason why we should not struggle financially. There is no reason why our health should be perfect. But there is every reason why I should kneel down every moment, every chance I can and be grateful for what I do have! There is every reason for me to rejoice in my family, my friendships! God will provide a roof for my head...it may not be this one. God will provide the food for my belly...it will sustain. God will provide a resting place for my head when I just can't go anymore...He has so many times before. So even though my human fault of being scared creeps in....He saves me from it staying long!
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