The past 2 days have been wonderful for Brooke. She has been happy and appartently pain free. Yesterday while leaving the grocery, she twirled and danced to the van. Looking at me with a great big smile, I knew her day was going good. Then today, Brooke was again dancing while standing in line at jonanne's. A few ladies looked on and smiled. When anyone comments on her haircut, she just says, "That's because I had brain surdery." They are really just saying her hair is cute! :) I am so glad for moments like this. Moments that I have to call her down for being to wild. Because I know that it will quickly pass.
Two Days of good followed by..... well not so good. Tonight at play practice (which I was worried was too much for her, but big bro was doing it, so she just had to) while singing a song, she fell apart. She was standing with all the other kids, they had to take a jump back and she jumped wrong and jarred her head. I watched as that little lower lip started to quiver. Then came the confused look as she tried to find me. I motioned for her to come, but she stood there and just cried quietly. Thankfully my mom was able to get her and bring her to me. Poor little lady cried the whole way home. She was broken hearted because she thought she would miss being in the play now. I told her she could still do it. When carrying her in she pleaded for me to stop bouncing her. I assured her I was walking as gently as possible. My heart aches at moments like this.
If you know me, you know I love music, but have no musical ability. In fact, I lack all rhythm and can't hear the beat in music. I have tried numerous times to play an instrument, and have been told I would never learn to play. This frustrated me so much! And yet, I was always able to dance. For some reason when it came to ballet, I could remember where each step went based on the music. I could never count music, but I managed. Some dances took more practice and were harder to learn. But I loved to dance! There really was no greater joy in my life! Dancing can transform you, let you escape, and focus only on a moment.
For us, that is what life is...a dance. Although we can't count every beat, we can slowly try to figure out how to deal with each day. We can focus just on the moment, bad and good. And if we do it just right, our lives will reflect something beautiful, even if at times it is a struggle. This is my hope, to help Brooke dance through her life. To be unaware of the chaos and pain around her for even just a moment.