When the Answer is YES!

Remember as a child having a really important question to ask your parents and just hoping the answer would be yes?  I would get so nervous to ask, think about all the possible scenarios in my mind.  What if they tell me no?  What if they say maybe another time? What if, What if...... so many possibilities.  But as a child we do not think of all the answers as possibilities.  Many times their answer would leave me in a puddle of tears, crying on my bed, sobbing life is not fair!

As we have been preparing to leave for NY, my mind once again, as it did last July, is running various scenarios in my head.  Being this is Brooke's second surgery, I feel we have a better understanding of the procedures.  But there is still so much uncertainity.  I find myself saying to God, "what if this, what if that?"  Not really knowing the answer.  But holding onto Faith knowing the answer is God's decision, no one else's. 

As a family, we have asked many questions over these past few days.  Trying to figure out how to get to NY, how to stay as best we can close to each other while there, and how all my kids can be near to me, as well as Tim.  My mom, who is an angel here on earth, will be traveling with us again to watch over Aidan and Chandler.  Tim will be there for the surgery and a few days after.  Since we all can't stay in the RMH, we needed a hotel.  Without me even asking the question, an unnamed angel paid for a hotel for Tim and Aidan!  Yes!  Then we are taking my mom's van and Tim needed something to drive because his truck needs brakes.  A wonderful family gave us money to pay for a rental car, and gas to get there! Yes!  What to do with our dog?  I was so nervous to leave him again since he was hurt last time.  A family (quite possibly as crazy as my own :)) offered to keep him while we were gone! Yes!  Since I posted about the PT and OT issues, I have had some wonderful people offer to help me learn techniques to help Brooke! Yes!  An awesome friend is dropping off a freezer meal to me, so we have a dinner when we get home! Yes!  Yesterday, Brooke received a package from another Chiari family.  It lifted her spirits! Yes!  Several friends are helping to watch the kids on various days as we prepare to leave. Yes!

The other day when I told Tim about one of these blessings, he said "We have seen so many miracles lately!"  And this is so true.  Please know my heart, we are so thankful for all of your gifts, support, and more importantly prayers!  We are humbled at how God has said Yes in so many ways.  Many of the questions we never even asked out loud!  I also know what a sacrifice many of these gifts were, and thank you for that sacrifice!  As we prepare to leave, my heart is not burdened.  I feel able to cope and deal with what is ahead.  I feel like I can be there for Brooke.  And I know those questions we still need answers to will be answered.

Another answered prayer, Brooke has such a peace about this surgery.  She understands this surgery might help with many things.  She is ready to go and get started.  Brooke can't wait to stay at the Ronald Mcdonald House and play dress up.  She is looking forward to seeing her child life specialist, Michelle.  Brooke already picked out a list of movies to watch at the hospital, and her craft bag is full of things to keep us busy.  She keeps telling me how excited she is to see Dr. B and hear his funny jokes.  I am so proud of this brave girl! 

There is no true answer yet if this surgery will fix what it needs to.  Even if it does, Brooke will still deal with headaches and dizziness from the instability in her neck.  Thankfully she does not mind her princess collar!  One thing I was taught from my parents is the answer is not always yes, in fact many times it is a variation of no, or wait and see.  It is not a lack of Faith when I say I do not know how this will turn out, but submission to God that he has chosen the best answer.  I do not fall into a puddle of tears and scream out that life is not fair.  I need to show Brooke the possibilities in all possible answers.  Remember getting the no answer, or the maybe another time?  Did it ever turn out that your parents were just protecting you?  No matter what, my family is being protected, and so the answer really is "yes".